Name=Bobby P. Goblin
email=hunkahunkaburninleo@aol.com
type=True


Leonardo Dicaprio walked into my life on April 17, 1999.  Actually, I should write he 
*swam* into my life.  And god bless him for saving my life.

A little about myself;  I am a submarine captain for the Navy, and wasn't exactly the biggest Leo 
fan in the world until that day.  I'd seen "Titanic", sure, but he was just another actor to me.  

On that day, we were doing a routine patrol around Iceland.  We had submerged to about 152 
giga-fathoms, and, suddenly, the bow began to shake.  I ran astern, then portside.  From portside, 
I went astern again.  From astern, I went to portside.  It was awful.

The sub felt as if it was going to be crushed like an empty can of Milwaukee's Best.  We were 
losing pressure, and the midhalfshipman's efforts to work the defibrilator were to no avail.  
We were doomed for sure.

Suddenly, while in the submarine's glass solarium, we saw an orange figure moving toward us.  As 
it moved closer, I couldn't believe my eyes.  It was a man riding a gigantic seahorse!  

It was none other than Leonardo Dicaprio!  He had on an orange shirt that looked as if it were 
made out of scales.  His lower torso was adorned with green tights.  He had used his Aqua-powers, 
and sensed our dire predicament.

Leo's army of dolphins circled the sub, and he used his telekinetic powers to order the dolphins 
to lift us up.  Although the dolphins were many and brave, it could not be done.  

Leo didn't even stop to contemplate his next move.  He took his magic trident, and speared the 
sub's left wheel.  Now with a firm grip, he was able to pull us to shore.  And not a moment too soon, 
either.  If we had sank any farther, we would have perished for sure.

After rushing out onto the shore, we turned to thank Leo, but he left on an invisible jet.  The 
gorgeous female pilot used her golden lasso to pull him from the water, and they went to go fight 
crime.

I tried to thank him later, but I couldn't reach him.  I really, really, really tried, but was 
unable to let him know how grateful I was.

As an aside; they sure give restraining orders at the drop of a hat, don't they?  What kind of 
country allows their judges to throw around these restraining orders willy-nilly.  This ain't the 
America I grew up in, and fought for.

Anyhoo, I guess he'll just have to assume how grateful I am.  Without Leo, there would be no 
Captain Bobby P. Goblin.  And that would be a sad world indeed.